My Truth
by Botsey
Summary: Where does Spock go after he leaves Sarek in the Transporter Room?


A/N

In the film there is just a brief second to capture the inspiration for this story. When Spock and Sarek meet in the transporter room Spock requests him to leave. Sarek refuses. Some of his statements as revealed in, _Star Trek A novel by Alan Dean Foster written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman based upon "Star Trek" created by Gene Roddenberry_ are simply so wonderful. Some have been quoted in this story. But the visual of Spock coming to his special realization was masterfully portrayed by Quinto-by a simple neck tic. I have pointed that out to everyone who has viewed the movie with me. After his father's admission of the tuth about his relationship with Amanda, Spock's face does not change, but the giveaway to his thoughts in the book which were: "_Nothing more was said, but for Spock, child of Sarek, child of Grayson, something important had clearly been resolved." _This was summed up in that micro mini second bit of silent acting-that tic! BRAVO Quinto!

So after leaving the Bridge following, Kirk's elevation to the captaincy, where did Spock go? We know he went to the Transporter Room, but what was his next stop and his final destination? Let us do an explore…

My Truth

I looked into her beseeching eyes. The message I read is not one of recrimination. Her message is clear, 'Do not shut me out.' As she meets me my instructions are pointed, "I require solitude." She withdrew and with head bowed she returned to her post.

Perhaps it is human imagining that made me think that each crew member I met eyed me in a peculiar way as I make my way back to the site of my very human anguish-Transporter Room One. I climbed the step and looked down at the pad. As I closed my eyes the vision of my mother caused my stomach muscles to clinch and my breath became labored.

Again, my thoughts are not Vulcan,

'I wish I could have died in place of you.'

Every Vulcan understands, '_Kaiidth,' _What is, is. Once an event has occurred it is written in the annals of time and cannot be expunged. None had yet become the masters of this universal rhythm.

My emotions have clouded the functions of my internal time keeper so I have no idea how long I stayed in that posture or in that setting.

There is a rustle and I looked to my left and saw my father as he stood stoically. He is also continued to look at the pad. We made eye contact and there is still silence.

For the briefest of moments I think of Nyota. I questioned myself,

'Have I shut her out?'

I think of my loss of control. The second time in my life. Both had been brought on by insults in regards to my mother. What would I do to one who dared injure Nyota in anyway?'

My father thought deeply and finally voiced,

"Speak your mind Spock."

I counter, "That would not be wise."

"My son, what is necessary is always wise."

"Father, I am as conflicted as if I still was a child. My anger for the one who took mother's life is with me every waking hour. It has settled into every fiber of my being."

"Spockh, your mother would say, 'Do not try to ignore it, for that would be an attempt to separate your Vulcan half from your human self and it will never be successful. You must see the value of you, your entire self. You cannot act entirely Vulcan, any more than you can act entirely human. This is your birthright which I cherish; and I do so, not only because you are the only part of her that I have left."

My father's final statement brought me back to the time of my first loss of control. He stated,

"Spockh, you once asked me why I married your mother."

He gave a momentary pause and for a brief second I saw what could be described as pain on his face, a sign of deep loss and he said,

"I married her because… I LOVED HER."

I am certain that my visage did not change but I felt a constriction in my throat that probably manifested itself in a momentary tic, I swallowed hard as my neck muscle tighten. My father has revealed The Truth to me. A truth that was relevant to me, My Truth. My father's statement had now removed any vestige of doubt about my future, a future that must include Nyota, as my bondmate.

I reason, if a full Vulcan could be drawn to that state of love, certainly his half human son could and should do so. My bonding with Nyota would in fact honor my mother.

Sarek looked and nodded, "Go to her."

By the traffic in the corridors I knew the shift had changed. Nyota would be in her quarters. The traffic in the corridors make me signal my present instead of just entering. At last I could hear her light steps as she approached. When she opened the door, when I saw her face, I knew she had been crying.

Holding her I asked, "Why the tears Nyota?"

She shuttered in my arms and answered, "Spock, someone must cry for you and for Vulcan."

I kissed the top of her head. "Cry no more for me Nyota, for you have saved me.

"I have come to you to ask you to think carefully about the depth of your commitment to our relationship."

Nyota looked up into my eyes and said,

"_Taluhk nash-veh k'dular", _(I cherish thee)

Spock's grip tightened and he said,

"Then there is no reason that we should not be bonded, for you are indeed _K'hat'n'diawa." _(half of my heart/soul).

I carried her to the couch and placed her on my lap. Nyota turned so as to straddle me, so our foreheads could touch. What ensued was silent communications, unspoken thoughts that needed to be shared.

My parting words to Nyota were,

"As you are aware, 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' or in our case, the two.

"But Nyota, be aware of my devotion to you and that the fulfillment of those desires we just shared are paramount to me."

She stood on her tip-toes and brushed her lips against mine. Her hand grazed my arm as I turned and left.

My plans included the deepest form of meditation that would allow me to not only explore the total acceptance of My Truth but also formulate a plan that would allow us all to have a future.

And so it was that my next appearance on the Bridge was that of a centered, calm, and focused Star Fleet Officer Nyota's eyes mirrored her confidence. Ahead of the captain and crew of our ship, the Enterprise was a mission that had to be successful, for if the opposite was true, we all would cease to exist.

So it was, with our successful return to the Enterprise the hands that grasped mine represented My Truth regarding my future and the one I would share it with my Nyota.


End file.
